Wednesday, 18 June 2008


If you're in the job you'll know there are some people who this word was made for. I'm not talking about some of the female police officers because that would be wrong, I'm talking about the lovely people out there on the street.

I got sent to a drunk male collapsed on the stairs of one of the establishments on my area to move them on. Of course its understandable, it was 2 in the afternoon. When we arrived this guy was sparko, lying face down on the steps. It was my old friend John (not his real name) I've met him in the same situation many times before. It's a really nice hot day but we weren't going to be able to wake him. Double gloved as he has every contagious disease you can think of, still wearing his trousers supplied from the hospital days before. We move him to a less painful position and he doesn't even stir. I reach for my radio with regret and say "Can we have an ambulance down here please?" I hate wasting the ambulance's time like this but in an ass-covering exercise we have to. In fairness, this guy is obliterated and he won't be able to move on if he wanted to. I can smell him from a few feet away, which is quite impressive in fresh air.

The ambulance eventually turn up (I wouldn't want them to rush to this time waster) and the two paramedics get out, they already know him and agree he'll have to go to hospital to sober up and then storm out to get some more vodka. The offending bottle is nearby and it is cheap polish vodka, 40%. My guess is he's drank it in about ten minutes. The paramedics are as sensitive as we are, not very. They bring the trolley bed out and we load him up. Off he goes to hospital and the ambulance and us can go back to doing some 'real' work, until the next one of course.

As we're sweeping up the mess on the pavement (metaphorically) there's an emergency call for an old lady who's been hit by a bus. How ironic, here we are with a 2 paramedic EMERGENCY ambulance and two warranted police officers with a drunk. We're the only unit available to go and there's going to be a delay because of this alcoholic. Thankfully she's okay and there was a fresh ambulance crew ready to deal with a proper injury by the time we arrive on scene.

Some more nothing calls throughout the evening and we got our full lunch break which was refreshing. Late on another unit is doing a stop on a car that is 'four up' and needs some assistance, we scream up as we're nearby along with two other units including a van. The occupants look startled at the police presence. We then spend the next ten minutes being told how much we're hated and how this is the reason we are. Apparently we shouldn't be cuffing people under 18 (?) and we have to make small talk with these muppets while my other colleagues complete checks and searches.

At least I got off on time.

I'll write about more mingers...I could post for two months with a post for each if I wanted to.