Tuesday, 26 February 2008


Today was quite "Q" which meant I had a chance to get on top of my crimes and related paperwork.

My colleague also had a few bits and bobs to do which was handy and I got a chance for the odd cup of tea which was nice.

I went to do a routine welfare check after a four day old incident got sent through to us. Immediately after knocking I was met by a hostile reception and of course the smell of alcohol on the breath. "We've sorted it we don't need you coppers here get off my f***ing doorstep copper" was the welcome. We were looking for the bloke who called us
Occupant - "He's not here"
My colleague - "Well where is he then?"
O - " I don't f***in' know you smarmy b*tch - don't get smart with me"
MC - ?????

After slamming the door to go and get said male (turns out he was upstairs the whole time) I heard through the door "Cocky b*tch, I'll have her sergeant on the phone - why doesn't she get a real job?"
What like being unemployed and pissed at 10am? Who makes these people?

A strange call which came in as a shoplifter detained and then turned into an assault and then a crime report (obviously!) unfortunately we couldn't get on scene soon enough to get any result other than that but it will still need investigating. There is some CCTV and a school uniform so it might lead to something.

Once we'd finished up there we went looking for someone who had recently been attempting to use a counterfeit driving license to open a bank account but someone else found them first.

Then the control room for 16 divisions had to be evacuated so we had a brief moment of respite while it switched over to another site. I'm sure there were cheers in the other vehicles too!


Monday, 25 February 2008

Policy summary

Now, I know I promised there wouldn't be much negativity on this blog but here's a post I drafted after a particularly rough patch at work and in the absence of fresh material (gotta love rest days!) I thought it was time for a new post....

It is the policy of the UKPS that: -

any accident with an injury no matter how small or how reported for the purposes of claiming compensation will incur a decent amount of writing

any crime report submitted will have fault found in it by a civilian who's never been a police officer before or tried to write a detailed report at 4am

morale will not be tolerated at any time and should this eventuality occur it must be recorded and thoroughly investigated

there will be two ways to do everything and doing something to the best of your ability and in line with common sense is not always the best way

it is no longer good enough to prevent crime and arrest offenders it is more important to make your superiors look good at all times than do your job

despite all of this there can be an insulting pay increase and you must like it or lump it and carry on working 24/7 over weekends/christmas etc

Despite all this, I am keen to go to work in the hope that one day I will turn up and something will have changed.

Besides, I was on double bubble today so can't complain too much!

Saturday, 16 February 2008

A worthy read

This book has been released by one of my favourite bloggers. To read more click here.

Also to order the book click here to get it direct from the publishers.

Enjoy and I hope Xf appreciates the shameless plug :-)

Monday, 11 February 2008

A mild night

A steady Sunday night every now and then doesn't go amiss.

But someone had other plans... I signed my car out and went for a trundle around, not being a response vehicle for the evening meant I would be dealing with any crime reporting and anything urgent I was relatively near, luckily I had a colleague with me to share the writing. The good thing about being a 'panda' is you are not tethered to the radio as much so you can do a bit of proactive policing which makes a nice change, especially as the calls you take generally don't have a time restraint.

We were following a car along one of the main roads on our patch and my colleague pointed out that the car had a bald tyre so he was pulled over in order to rectify this. On closer inspection the vehicle had four adorable little children in the back seat. I can never understand why parents think this is acceptable - even if they are all going to a birthday party. I asked the father where he thought his children would end up if they had a crash "The front" he said and I pointed out that more than likely they'd end up about 20ft in front of the car having met the windscreen on the way through. He didn't like that but either way the kids had to go with uncle in a cab to continue their evening.

While my colleague completed the ticket (for the bald tyre - words of advice for the dangerous load) I made sure the child seats were fitted in the back which the father obliged. The kids were becoming restless so I thought I'd entertain them with some road safety advice. I asked them to show me how to fit a seatbelt which they knew and demonstrated. I then told them that whenever they travelled in cars they should use seatbelts even if it's not mum and dad's car. They were about 6 years old and I think the message was well received and I hope they remember it for their own sake.

The calls kept pinging up on the box and we kept accepting them whilst we went looking for more vehicles to stop. Then I saw a man driving whilst talking on his mobile phone and stopped him. He was ticketed and will be receiving 3 points on his license.

We were right on top of a call where a female had had her car window smashed and seen the suspects run off. We got there very quickly and had a good look round for the 3 inerbriates but with no joy so we headed to the address to take the report. Whilst we were there we were offered a seat and also some orange juice. We politely declined but as we went to leave the house we were accosted by the victim's youngest daughter with two glasses of juice. It was a nice gesture and much appreciated. I left wondering why all families couldn't be so pleasant.

We cleared up some more calls that seemed to have been outstanding for days before popping in for some chinese take away. I was then tasked to take an appropriate adult home as she had been mucked about by the handover team and just as we dropped her off we were called up and asked to attend a domestic nearby which had been outstanding an hour or so.

We attended and the mother stated she had been hit by her 14 year old son and she wanted him nicked. So he was arrested and taken to a cell hopefully to learn a valuable lesson. He was a pleasant kid and I hope he's not too far gone to learn a lesson before he just becomes another statistic.

Whilst we were dealing with my arrest we heard LAS put up an urgent assistance and refreshingly the world and his wife put up to accept the call. If I'd have been free I would have been rushing there myself but wasn't available. I wonder if its the same one Xf refers to.

As many police bloggers have said before we are best friends with the LAS and always a cheery wave or "woop" on the sirens to greet them when our paths cross. We try our best to be prompt to assist them. Last night it was urgent and a number of units from other divisions were even running from wherever they work which was nice to see and I know the LAS appreciate it.


Wednesday, 6 February 2008

A whole lot of nothing

If you're in the job and reading this you'll know there are periods where nothing seems to happen and you end up scratching around for work. Sometimes you end up with something a bit strange.

This day was a bit like that. It started off fine - school kicking out time is not always the best time to come on duty - but there was the barrage of "group of 50 school kids fighting - unknown if weapons are involved" and off toddle the double crewed unit to see a lot of school kids hanging around chatting and typing "asnt..." on the box. It can be quite fun though screaming around on blues & twos and not having to lift a pen at the end of it. However someone had other plans.

Another easy job - "can someone assist a revenue inspector ascertaining details of a passenger" easy peasy. On arrival however it turns out this man had used 2 counterfeit travelcards worth £45 each (very well produced on the college computer) to get on the bus. Now we had two options - a) confirm details and let the transport company prosecute or b) nick the bloke for fraud

Now many would have chosen option a) and the pen would have remained full of ink. However I saw an opportunity to use the newly implememented fraud act for the first time and chose option b). He was arrested for "possessing articles to commit fraud" and taken to the nick. What followed was quite interesting

- Conducted a s18 because we thought we may be able to find computer and printing equipment used for making these cards

- Man was then interviewed by the handover team (well I'm not gonna do it am I?) and cautioned by the time I finished the Crime Report and notes

- Man got a proper caution from the new guvnor - not a "sign here and say you're sorry" but a right earbashing :)

- And my favourite point - from time of arrest to completing all this - 6hrs which also meant I got off on time having topped my figures up :)

However it wasn't all good. Turns out you need to check the cooking instructions of a Fray Bento's pie before you take the lid off - its much easier